26 June 2017

I have walked the path of a healer. I have journeyed as warrior. But now I'm feeling called to a new role. That of a leader. Work has pushed me into a management role. I've been feeling the desire to build an SCA household. I feel a calling to step out of the shadows.

This past weekend I went to Dark Odessy's Fusion. For me it was a weekend of Self discovery, Healing, and Transformation. I went into the event with no expectations and was rewarded with an amazing experience.

Lately I have been feeling lost. I have been feeling alone and unable to find connections. At fusion I was welcomed into a camp. The people I met felt like family. I was pushed out of my comfort zone and was given room to shine. The group I was with is spiritual and ran rituals at night. The theme this year was healing. My role in all of this was a fire tender. Long hot hard work. Building the fire, controlling the burn, feeding the fire. Fire has a way of cleansing what it touches. The first night of tending cleansed my spirit. I was able to release my inhibitions. All the blockages that kept me from making connections were freed, turned to ash.

The second night we built a new fire and there was a very long and powerful ritual going on. There was lot of energy circling and the fire was big and hungry. Fires have a way of being greedy. They will eat and eat until there is nothing left but ash. I found that the fire ate all my hesitation, all my self doubt, all my self loathing. As the night continued my energies were drained as the fire and the ritual consumed them. eventually i crashed.

The morning I was woke up to drums. I was exhausted and drained completely dry. I am now slowly building myself back up with the energies I want. I can now refill myself and be the person i want to be.



June 2017

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